It wouldn’t be surprising if, unlike me, you aren’t familiar with the finer points of the first Muppet Movie. Maybe it’s a generational thing, or maybe we were starved of sophisticated entertainment in sanctions-bound 1979 Zimbabwe, but be that as it may, for some reason this jolly musical romp remains vivid in the old memory banks. 

The reason for this cinematic reminiscence comes to you tonight because of a particular scene. In short, the evil Doc Hopper wants to kidnap Kermit the Frog to exploit as the mascot of his French Fried Frog Legs chain. Confronted with this information, our green amphibious hero muses, “all I can think of is thousands of frogs on tiny crutches.”

Which is the perfect juncture to inform you that the subject of our sermon tonight is that delicious and often-overlooked delicacy, beef cheeks. Let’s just try not to think about thousands of cattle with heavily bandaged faces, OK?

So here’s how it goes. Being on a budget and dedicated to healthy eating, but also incurable foodies who demand deliciousness at pretty much every meal, we’ve taken to popping into Braidwood Butchers to see, to hijack Frank-N-Furter, what’s on the slab. And it didn’t take long for Daniela to zero in on the beef cheeks, which are not only economical, but fulfil that deliciousness criterion to the max. 

Let me tell you, in winter when the breezes are chilly and the bones grow weary, a couple of these steaming gently on the plate, accompanied by a glass of $5.99 Shiraz from the local wine shop will restore the body’s thermal equilibrium and the mind’s easeful bliss.

Here’s how Daniela does it.

• To paraphrase Mrs. Beaton: first capture some beef cheeks. We had four (presumably two cows’ worth).
• First flour the cheeks with paprika and garlic; then heat olive oil and chunk of butter in a heavy pan and brown the cheeks.
• While browning, roughly chop a stick of celery, a carrot, and a brown onion, then thrown in with the beef cheeks.
• Take a punnet of mushrooms, wash, slice into chunks and add.
• Give all a good stir. Be sure to turn the beef for all-over browning.
• When the beef is brown and the veggies soft, add a glass of red wine to deglaze the pan.
• Boil it all up.
• Add two sprigs fresh rosemary.
• Then add a cup of chicken stock (“I prefer the flavour compared to beef stock,” says our chef).
• Bring all to the boil, cover and simmer on very low heat for two to two and a half hours until tender and juices have reduced by half.
• Turn up the heat, add quarter cup of cream, and stir through.
• Taste, season to your satisfaction.
• Turn the heat off – and you’re done.

Serve with polenta, mashed potato or pasta of your choice. We were auditioning chickpea Casarecce as a substitute for pasta (verdict: next!) And, for that essential touch of green, broccoli.

It was also good to have Cruise, traveller extraordinaire, who came over with his human for dinner having been fetched from a distant farm he’d decided to visit. Having a snoozing pooch at our feet while we feasted just added that extra element of homeliness.

All in all, a really rather nice evening; the fire’s in the grate, the wine’s slipping down rather nicely, and a light rain has just started outside. Time to fire up Netflix and seek out some childhood movie favourites. I’m just glad there aren’t any featuring lovable animated cattle on a musical road trip.